The following pages contain information on 58 books dealing with grief, covering a range of styles and several situational categories. Some are recent, most were published within the last 8 - 10 years, and a few are old workhorses, published long ago but still well worth reading.

It is impossible to include every worthy book in a list of this length. My selections are based on my own reading, book reviews, my personal experience of being widowed, and over 20 years of working in the field of bereavement. There are many books I did not include, and more are published every day. This list is therefore fluid and changeable.

Often, newly bereaved people lack the concentration and desire to read long or complex books. Therefore, there are several listings consisting of short chapters in easy-to-read formats. I also list more substantial books, both for those who desire such information immediately and for those past the initial stages of grief who need more extensive information.

I note when a book is spiritual or religious, and where a clear denominational focus is present. In absence of such comments, presume the book to be secular in nature.

For more information about Amy Florian and her ministry, go to http://www.amyflorian.com.

This list of books is provided complimentary through Ofield Funeral Home, Kentwood, MI.  www.ofieldfuneralhome.com.

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What Helped Me When My Loved One Died
Earl Grollman
Beacon Press, 1982
0807032298

Rather than writing this book himself, Grollman has gathered the stories of bereaved people and let them tell in their own words what most helped them when they were grieving. Insightful and touching, the book is recommended for those who are grieving, especially in the first 6 months to a year, and for those who deal with the bereaved.

Grief
What It Is—What You Can Do
Joy Johnson and Marvin Johnson
Centering Corporation, 1995

This inexpensive, small pamphlet contains user-friendly definitions and helpful hints. It is a very brief overview of grief, and could be helpful for people in the initial stages that would never tackle a whole book.

When Bad Things Happen to Good People
Harold Kushner
Schocken, 1981
0380603926

This Jewish rabbi fearlessly addresses the dilemma of suffering when God is supposed to be so good. Recommended for those experiencing anger toward God or a faith crisis because of the death, this is a persuasive and hopeful examination of the empty platitudes often proffered to the bereaved and a challenge to embrace the true challenges and ambiguities of faith.

From Grief to Grace
Images for Overcoming Sadness and Loss
Helen Lambin
ACTA, 1997
0879461543

This simple little book offers ten images, some secular and some specifically Christian, to help mourners name, process, and cope with aspects of their grief. It is very easy to read, comforting, and inspirational.

A Grief Observed
C.S. Lewis
Bantam, 1983
0060652381

Following the death of his wife, this highly respected theologian struggles to make sense of his grief in light of his faith. For some newly bereaved, the first part of the book, in which Lewis is brutally honest in his anger and doubts, can be hard to read, yet it reflects the inner turmoil of most mourners. This short but compelling book raises the tough questions and, while not providing easy answers, encourages the reader to come to peace with God and death.

Don't Take My Grief Away
What to Do When You Lose A Loved One
D. Manning
HarperSanFrancisco, 1984
0060654171

Manning writes in the highly personal and pastoral fashion of one who has served as a Baptist pastor for over 30 years. From a Christian perspective, he gently guides the reader, beginning with the often-neglected topic of planning the funeral. He goes on to cover initial feelings, emotions, reactions, and the effects on family and friends. This is a comfortable and comforting book, recommended for those in the initial stages of grief and beyond.

Transcending Loss
Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make It Meaningful
Ashley Davis Prend
Berkley Publishing, 1997
042515775X

This author has penned a comprehensive look at how grief affects one's entire life. She challenges the bereaved to either use grief to resign from life or use grief to design their life. She advocates holistic concepts integrating body, mind, spirit, and soul as she urges the bereaved to reinvest in new ways of living in order to bring meaning out of their pain.

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Surviving Grief—and Learning to Live Again
Catherine Sanders
John Wiley and Sons, 1992
0471534714

This author received the 1990 award for Outstanding Contribution in the Field of Death-Related Counseling. Her expertise shows as she blends extensive research, interviews, and personal experience into the foundation of this excellent and comprehensive book. Different situations are recognized as readers are encouraged to learn about and experience the grief process with its emotions, reactions, and expectations, and to move toward healing.

Grieving the Death of a Friend
Harold Ivan Smith
Augsburg Fortress, 1996
0806628421

Though this marvelous compendium of stories, quotes, and insights focuses on close friendships and our society's denial of ìfriendgrief," the wisdom contained is helpful for anyone who grieves. The reflections begin with the dying process, and continue through chapters entitled Burying, Mourning, Remembering and Reconciling. Finally, Smith includes rituals and suggestions for healing. The book is honest, hopeful, spiritual, and comforting.

Sit Down, God—I'm Angry
R.F. Smith
Judson Press, 1997
0817012583

When Pastor Smith's son dies, he faces God squarely with his rage and questions. His book gives readers permission to do the same, reassuring them that God can take it. Then he gently prods them toward hope and healing with the help of that same God.

Death of a Wife
Reflections for the Grieving Husband
Robert Vogt
ACTA, 1996
0879461411

It's too bad this book is entitled as if it were only for widowers. It is for anyone, and in fact might be particularly appropriate for teens and younger people. Rather than writing from an academic viewpoint or even composing his own prose, Vogt deals with the hard questions of grief, faith, and healing through a series of stories and poems. His selections are understandable, poignant, and insightful, laced with deep spirituality and hope.

Good Grief
Granger E Westberg
Fortress, 1997
0800611144

This little book (only 51 pages) was originally written almost 40 years ago. Westberg, drawing on extensive experience as Lutheran minister and counselor, believes that our response to small griefs in life affects our response to large griefs. He educates the reader by illustrating ten ìstagesî common to grief and showing that each can be an opportunity for growth and transformation.

When a Loved One Dies
Meditations for the Journey through Grief
Philip W. Williams
Augsburg, 1995
0800627778

First published more than 25 years ago, this book is still timely, using life stories and loss experiences to bring hope, inspiration, information and a lot of room to find one's own way. Williams recognizes the dry well of grief, but also connects to the well of strength available to those who grieve (in this work, through the Christian tradition). It is a book of inspiration and comfort.

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Child Death — for Parents or Siblings

A Child Dies
A Portrait of Family Grief
Joan Arnold and Penelope Gemma
The Charles Press, 1994
0914783726

These two nurses have written a comprehensive and invaluable resource for families struggling with the death of a child, whether an infant, a toddler, or an older child. The authors include powerful art and touching poetry, along with practical advice from understanding companions.

Help Your Marriage Survive the Death of a Child
Paul C. Rosenblatt
Temple University Press, 2000
1566398053

A marriage requires hard work at the best of times. The impact of the death of a child can tear a family and marriage to shreds as we shut down, turn away or move inward. Rosenblatt offers important help in practical and loving ways for couples. He includes helpful information on how people grieve individually and in relationship, the impact of grief on sexuality, dealing with friends, relatives and coworkers, the frequency of depression, and other very important issues.

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart
Surviving the Death of Your Baby
Deborah Davis
Fulcrum Publishing, 1991
1555913024

This is a wonderful and comforting book for parents grieving the death of a child either before birth, at birth, or within the first year of life. It is not intended for reading front to back, instead allowing parents to choose topics specific to their own situation. The combination of personal narrative, research, and inspiration makes it a recommended resource.

Recovering From the Loss of a Sibling
When a Brother or Sister Dies
Katherine Fair Donnelly
2000
0595010423

Numerous testimonials from surviving siblings of all ages form the foundation of this book. It addresses the unique grief of siblings and the fact that sibs are often overlooked in the outpouring of support for parents. The book is insightful and comforting.

We Love You, Matty
Meeting Death with Faith
Ted Dunne
Baywood, 2000
0895032031

Matthew Ventresca died at the age of 9. This book blends skillful research with honest testimony in the journey of a grieving parent who not only loses a child but, at least for a time, loses God, belief, faith, and hope. The author takes readers through the experience, showing by example how to work through the sorrow and begin to believe in new, different, and richer ways.

A Broken Heart Still Beats After Your Child Dies
Anne McCracken and Mary Semel
Hazelden, 1998
1568382014

This partnership of a social worker and a journalist, both of whom experienced the death of a child, results in a remarkable collection of poetry, fiction, and essays that indirectly but effectively capture the profound grief of parents when their child dies.

Losing Someone You Love
When a Brother or Sister Dies
Elizabeth Richter
Putnam, 1986
0399212434

This book consists of 15 stories written by 10- to 19-year-olds whose brother or sister died. The cause of death varies widely, including accidents, suicide, murder, disease, and even SIDS. It can be helpful to people in this age group to read what a peer has written.

How to Survive the Loss of a Child
Filling the Emptiness & Rebuilding Your Life
C. Sanders
Prima Publishers, 1992
076152896

Sanders is a psychologist and bereaved parent who offers practical help and emotional support for grieving parents and those who surround them. The book deals with a range of different death circumstances, with rituals, and with tough experiences like going on vacation, forgiving, and finding joy in life again.

Five Cries of Grief
One Family's Journey to Healing After the Tragic Death of a Son
Merton Strommen and A. Irene Strommen
Augsburg, 1996
0806629878

This couple chronicles their grief journey following their 25-year-old son's death from a lightning strike. One unique aspect is that each author tells the story from their own perspective, highlighting the differences in each one's reactions and timetables and acknowledging the absolute necessity of accepting and dealing with those differences. They also reinforce the timeless aspect of grief, that one is not magically healed by the anniversary. This book is for anyone in grief, but especially for couples and families grieving together.

Lament for a Son
Nicholas Wolterstorff
Eerdmans, 1987
080280294X

In this powerfully written book, Wolterstorff (a professor of philosophical theology at Yale) grapples with questions, doubts, and family grief after his 25-year-old son's death in a skiing accident. He incorporates scripture and poetry, and the afterward is a requiem written in memory of his son that was actually performed in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I recommend this book for anyone in grief, especially within the first year.

Finding Your Way after Your Child Dies
Phyllis Wezeman and Kenneth Wezeman
Ave Maria Press, 2001
0877937001

A touching guide for helping parents acknowledge and deal with their loss and their feelings, this book includes fifty-two themes ranging from birthdays to graduation, as well as events that may happen daily, weekly, or only once. Each theme includes a story or teaching about an aspect of grief, practical activities and rituals for coping, a reading from scripture, and a prayer. This book is especially helpful for parents whose deceased child was under the age of 18.

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Death of a Spouse

When Your Spouse Dies
Cathleen Curry
Ave Maria Press, 1990
0877934169

Widowed at the age of 47 with nine children to raise (her husband had a massive heart attack on the day before Father's Day), Curry incorporates her own experience and establishes eight practical guideposts for getting through the first year. She deals with topics ranging from expressions of mourning and caring for one's own health to loneliness, anger, sexuality, and financial planning. She emphasizes spiritual growth as essential to healing. This useful book is currently in its 6th printing.

Widow to Widow
Thoughtful, Practical Ideas for Rebuilding your Life
Genevieve Davis Ginsburg
Fisher Books, 1995
1555612261

Ginsburg is the founder of Widowed to Widowed Services and she writes frankly and honestly about the needs, questions, and concerns of the widowed (both men and women). She covers everything from emptying his/her closet, to traveling and eating alone, to money matters, to dating and sexuality. This is a wise and useful guide.

Companion Through the Darkness
Inner Dialogues on Grief
Stephanie Ericsson
HarperCollins, 1993
0060969741

The author began keeping a journal after her husband died while she was pregnant with their only child. She combines excerpts from that journal with brief essays, capturing the raw, wrenching depth of emotions involved in grief. This realistic traversal of grief is recommended for anyone, though it may be particularly touching for the widowed.

Widowed
Joyce Brothers
Ballatine Publishing, 1990
0345374002

This is the personal story of a psychologist who thought she knew all there was to know about grieving for a spouse until her own husband of 30 years died. This book is a down-to-earth, sometimes humorous, compassionate, and gentle look at the difficulties of negotiating the grief process as a widow.

Widower
When Men are Left Alone
Scott Campbell and Phyllis Silverman
Baywood, 1995
089503140X

This team of a journalist and a behavioral scientist do a remarkable job of capturing the range of situations and emotions men feel when a wife dies. Each chapter centers on one widower. The authors give a brief biography, and then allow the subject himself to tell his story and feelings in his own words. This is followed by well-done commentary grounded in research, pointing out aspects of the story that are important for all who have been widowed. The book is helpful, informative, and refreshing.

I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can
Linda Feinberg
New Horizon Press, 1994
0882820958

Largely told through the stories of clients, friends, and her own experience, Feinberg writes for young widows and widowers. Unlike older widowed people, they often have small children, they immediately (whether they choose it or not) face issues of dating and sexuality, and they struggle with the sense of a blank future. She also covers issues such as grieving even though the relationship was stormy or abusive, and the loss of a fianc . This is a good resource for those under 50 who are widowed.

Finding Your Way after Your Spouse Dies
Marta Felber
Ave Maria Press, 2000
0877939322

Having been through the experience, Felber offers 64 one-page essays on aspects of the grief process, from embracing loneliness, to reliving the day of the death, to dealing with guilt, and more. Each essay is followed by a brief prayer and two scripture suggestions. The book is practical, inspirational, honest, and easy to read.

Getting to the Other Side of Grief
Susan Zonnebelt-Smeenge and Robert DeVries
Baker Books, 1998
080105821X

This unique book for the widowed was written by a female clinical psychologist and a male pastor, each of who were widowed themselves. Written from a Christian perspective, it presents a compassionate challenge to work out grief without avoidance, utilizing insights for the different ways in which men and women deal with a spouse's death.

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Parental Death — for Adults or Children

Nobody's Child Anymore
Grieving, Caring, and Comforting When Parents Die
Barbara Bartocci
Sorin Books, 2000
1893732215

Through nostalgia, a variety of stories, instruction, and inspiration, Bartocci captures the unique loss and life issues that accompany the death of a parent for an adult child. Unlike most grief books, she starts with the dying process, and then goes on to issues of grieving, caring for the surviving parent, and healing from the loss. It is a wonderfully written, touching book, helpful to anyone who is grieving.

Learning to Say Good-Bye
When a Child's Parent Dies
Edie LeShan
Macmillan, 1978

Written for the whole family, LeShan opens the way to genuine communication between children and adults. By conveying confidence that coping is possible with open communication and mutual support, she encourages children to fully face their questions, fears, fantasies, and feelings after a parent dies.

How to Survive the Loss of a Parent
A Guide for Adults
Lois Akner
Morrow, 1993
0688137911

This book duplicates the setting of an actual ongoing workshop for adults whose parent(s) have died. There are 12 participants who reflect a range of age, social and religious backgrounds, and family structure. In this informal format, the author, a psychotherapist, deftly guides the reader through the issues and emotions of parent loss in an accessible and sensible way.

Finding Your Way After Your Parent Dies
Hope for Grieving Adults
Richard Gilbert
Ave Maria Press, 1999
0877936943

Richard Gilbert is an Anglican priest, hospital chaplain, and grief counselor whose beloved parents died within 5 years of each other. Without going into great depth, this familiar, easy-to-read book sketches out issues that arise in the wake of a parent's death, some of which apply to any type of grief while others are particular to adults mourning a parent. This is a good beginning book, introducing the reader to grief and giving practical and spiritual suggestions for coping and healing.

Death of a Mother
Daughter's Stories
Elizabeth Wilson
HarperCollins, 1991

This is a collection of over 30 pieces written by women about the deaths of their mothers. Some are funny, others filled with rage, some are despairing, others full of love. Some are written by well-known authors, while others are everyday women, and they include poetry, prose, reflection, and narrative.

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Books for Children or Teens

Guiding Your Child Through Grief
Jim and Mary Ann Emswiler
Bantam Books, 2000
0553380257

The Emswilers, directors of a program for grieving children in New England, speak from professional and personal experience in this excellent resource. They cover the questions children ask and how to answer them, the changing family dynamics when there has been a death, coping with holidays and special days, gender differences in grieving, how a child's age figures into the process, counseling, and a myriad of other issues every parent needs to know.

The Grieving Teen
A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends
Helen Fitzgerald
Fireside, 2000
0684868040

In a clear and accessible way, Fitzgerald guides teens through everything from the sickbed to the funeral, from the first day back at school to the first anniversary of the death. She adeptly covers the entire range of situations for teen grief, helping them address the intense emotions they face as they deal with grief and adolescence simultaneously.

Keys to Helping Children Deal with Death and Grief
Joy Johnson
Barron's Educational Press, 1999
0764209634

Johnson relates her experiences as a bereavement specialist for over 30 years with a particular interest in children's grief. This book helps parents explain death in ways that kids can comprehend and also explains a child's grief to parents in ways the allow them to understand and help. Personal and accessible, this invaluable guide is filled with real stories and practical advice.

35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child
Dougy Center Staff
The Dougy Center for Grieving Children, 1999
189053403X

Based on years of experience working directly with grieving kids, this guidebook is highly practical and helpful. It covers topics from how children of different ages grieve, to providing safe outlets for children to express their emotions, to involving kids in decisions that help them heal. Parents who work through this book with their children will benefit as well.

The Grieving Child
A Parent's Guide
Helen Fitzgerald
Simon & Schuster, 1992
0671767623

Organized like a book on infant care, this book provides practical advice for parents and others caring for bereaved children. The last chapter addresses the unresolved childhood grief that many adults carry, and suggests how they can use the book to resolve their own grief while helping their children.

A Child's Book About Death
Earl Grollman and Joy Johnson
Centering Corporation, 2001
1561231479

A brief, easy-to-read, and comforting book for children when they are faced with death that explains death through analogy and experience that children can relate to. Adults should spend time with it, too.

A Child's Book About Funerals and Cemeteries
Earl Grollman and Joy Johnson
Centering Corporation, 2001
1561231487

This little volume defines things like visitation, casket, funeral director, and cemetery in terms that young children can understand. It also talks about feelings, remembering, and keepsakes. It is especially helpful for a child under the age of 10.

Helping Children Grieve When Someone They Love Dies
Theresa Huntley
Augsburg, 1991
080662549X

Huntley brings her energy and expertise as a pediatric nurse to this fine book to help parents (and other adults) be more intentionally present with grieving children. It is a book that inspires, educates and motivates. The first and largest section of the book deals with information and advice to help children grieve the death of a beloved person. The last third of the book is on helping and supporting children who are dying themselves.

Straight Talk about Death for Teenagers
Earl Grollman
Beacon Press 1994
0807025011

Earl Grollman has written over 20 books on grief. This book is intended for teens, using an informal and accessible style to guide often-forgotten teenagers through the grieving process. Grollman doesn't go into depth on topics, and some may feel he glosses over too much. Yet, teens are not going to pick up a tome on grief. This is the kind of introductory resource they will read.

Help Me Say Goodbye
Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies
Janice Silverman
Fairview Press, 1999
1577490851

This little workbook is especially useful for younger children, or any grieving children, who have difficulty verbalizing their sadness and confusion. The child works through a series of activities, most of them non-verbal, to draw out their inner feelings. It can be just as helpful for the parents who work through it with them.

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Death by Suicide or Violence

My Son—My Son
Iris Bolton
Iris Bolton Press, 1983
0961632607

This moving and powerful book is still considered the best on child or adolescent suicide. (Despite the title, the author also covers the story of a daughter's suicide). Bolton compassionately and clearly covers the emotional, physical, and psychological devastation, including the denial, the lack of knowledge about suicide, and the despair common to survivors. She helps the family cope and come to a point of resolution and peace.

No Time For Goodbyes
Coping with Sorrow, Anger and Injustice after a Tragic Death
Janice Lord
Bargo, 1991
0934793409

Lord, a death educator and grief counselor, has written an invaluable aid to those whose loved ones were murdered, killed by a drunk driver, or otherwise died in violent and tragic circumstances. Lord deals with the possibility of trials, public attention, shock and denial, and all of the intense emotions that swirl through a family struck by sudden, violent death.

But I Didn't Get to Say Goodbye
For Parents and Professionals Helping Child Suicide Survivors
Barbara Rubel
GriefCenter, 2000
1892906007

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